Misunderstandings previously called Tangled
by Autumn Dae
Summary: Before she could finish her sentence, a loud explosion sounded off. Fire and a large cloud of black smoke was coming from the warehouse.“Tony!” The man who held her heart was no where in sight. TIVA.
1. Gone

"Yes Boss," Tony DiNozzo answered just as he shut his cell phone closed and slipped it into his pocket. He grabbed his gear and flashed out the door in a mere few seconds. Ziva followed him closely behind, having done the same. They rushed down the stairs; there was no time to wait for the elevator. A Marine's life was in danger and he was depending on them. As they ran out of NCIS headquarters, Ziva pulled her long barn curls into a ponytail. The icy air slapped them as they made their way to the car. "You drive," Tony threw the keys to Ziva and she looked at him with a confused expression on her face but jogged to the driver's side of the Dodge Charger. There was no time for debate. No, not today.

"Gibbs is gonna meet us there," Tony said as Ziva jerked around a corner, even though they both knew this. Five years as partners had taught them this.

"We do not have much time," Ziva said as she rushed a red light. The air felt thin. Time seemed to slow despite their high speed. It was moments like these that mattered the most. These were the moments that defined a family's future, the team's success, and the future of the life that was now in their hands. Ziva's heart beat grew faster as she drove down the street. The Marine might only have ten minutes, if that. In the back of their minds, both Tony and Ziva knew what was happening to him now. He was being tortured, just as four other Marines had been before being killed at noon. Director Vance had first believed this to be the work of a serial killer and had pushed for the help of local leos. Gibbs' gut knew better though. And he was sure he knew who did it.

Tony ran his hand through his hair and looked around nervously as they approached the warehouse. "Not too close," He warned her. _What is he talking about?_ Ziva wondered. She dared not ask. They had only a few moments left to stop the killer. She looked around quickly as she pulled to a vicious stop. A few yard away was a small pier and beyond that, the Atlantic Ocean. Tony and Ziva pulled their guns and rushed to the doors of the warehouse. They could hear nothing.

"Stop," Tony whispered. "Go check out the pier," Ziva glanced at him. This wasn't protocol. This wasn't normal. _Trust him,_ Ziva told herself. They had been partners for five years and she had learned to trust his instincts. He had taken after Gibbs, following his gut. She looked at him one last time. "Please," He sounded like he was begging her. His deep blue eyes gazed at her, pleading. _What is going on?_ Ziva's mind raced. In a split second, she made up her mind and ran to the pier, gun drawn. Silence had previously studded the warehouse district, but now she could hear the creaking of rusty metal. She whipped around, aiming her gun toward the warehouse. Tony was no longer in sight. Had he gone to the other side?

"Tony?" She called out, trying to keep her voice low enough so as not to tip off the suspect. The clock was ticking. The Marine has less than a minute to live. Ziva's phone vibrated from the pocket of her cargo pants. Hoping it would be Tony, she pulled out her phone, gun still drawn. It wasn't a call. It was a text.

"I'm sorry," was all it said.

"Sorry for—" Before she could finish her sentence, a loud explosion sounded off. Fire and a large cloud of black smoke were billowing from the warehouse. "_TONY!"_ The man who held her heart was nowhere in sight. For a moment, Ziva thought she saw a car, perhaps an SUV drive away in the opposite direction. But Ziva knew she was probably just imagining it through the thickening black smoke.

Gibbs pulled up. He was too late.

He was gone.

"And then I heard the explosion. I thought I saw an SUV driving off, but I could not tell. The smoke was too thick. Perhaps I was just imagining it. Tony, he…" Ziva's voice trailed off. She was sitting on the back of an ambulance. An EMT was checking her pulse. The firefighters and bomb experts were inspecting the warehouse, searching for any more signs of a bomb, and more importantly, for signs of a body. "I was supposed to back him up. I was his partner,"

"Are," Gibbs said. "You _are_ his partner,"

"But Tony, I think he went into the warehouse. I was responsible for him. I was supposed to protect him and I didn't. I Failed, Gibbs,"

"Ziva," He lifted her chin up, but her eyes stared at the ground. "Look at me," Gibbs wasn't surprised to find in her eyes what he had seen in his own when Shannon and Kelly died; when Kate died; when Jenny died. He saw nothing. Emptiness had filled her eyes. Her voice was soft and full of regret. "This is not my fault. Do you hear me?" Ziva didn't answer. Her eyes drifted away to the pier. That stupid pier.

McGee walked up to them. "Boss," was all he said. He had been at the scene for over an hour, but it had left him speechless though more efficient than ever. In all that time he had taken the statements of everyone at the warehouse district, collected every bit of evidence he could find outside of the warehouse, and led a search around the perimeter of the district, looking for any sign of the third member of their team. "What can I do?" Gibbs stared him in the eye. This time he found not emptiness as he had in Ziva, but concern and confusion. From day one, McGee had followed every rule of protocol. Protocol, of course, that didn't include hacking. McGee was good; he had integrity.

"Nothing. Go home," Gibbs answered after a minute.

"No," McGee replied defiantly. He needed to do something. He couldn't wait around for the news that he dreaded so much to hear. Any other day, this would have been offending to Gibbs. But not today. Today, Gibbs understood.

"Fine. Stay here. Finish up and then get started on the paperwork," McGee nodded, satisfied, and walked away.

"Ah, you poor girl," Ducky said softly as he approached the pair, Palmer accompanying him.

"Duck," Gibbs began.

"It was my fault," Ziva interrupted. "Had I gone in with him, I would have been able to disarm the bomb. And now Tony has to pay the price," He voice cracked at the familiar name. Never had she felt so helpless, so regretful.

"Actually, you weren't the only stupid one. If Tony hadn't told you to…" He let his voice trail off as Gibbs glared at him.

"Agent Gibbs?" A young man with a bomb squad logo on his jacket had joined them with a somber looking McGee. "We found a body," At those words, Ziva's eyes filled with tears. _This can't be real_. She followed the team back into the warehouse. It was still smoldering and smelled terrible. Water dripped from what was left of the ceiling. Ziva looked around at all of the black surrounding her. She felt a physical pain just thinking of her partner's last moments. Gibbs stopped just then and turned to her. He slapped the back of her head.

"Stop that," It was almost as if he could read her thoughts. She nodded gently, trying to gather her composure. Tony needed her now more than ever. She had to be at her best. This had to be her best work.

"It might not even be him, Ziva," Abby tried to assure the Mossad officer. This was odd. For once, Abby was the one in control and Ziva was the one losing it. "This isn't the first time he's died," Ziva thought back to the ordeal with Jeanne and La Grenouille. His car had been bombed, but he hadn't been the one inside. They didn't find out for several hours later.

"I was foolish, Abby. You cannot try to rationalize that," There was no useable DNA found on the charred body. It had been found only feet away from the remains of the bomb, so the autopsy was unlikely to reveal anything useful either. It all seemed too far gone.

"What do you got, Duck?" Gibbs walked into Autopsy. A solemn Ducky was sitting at his desk, head propped up in one hand.

"It's not good, Jethro," He said gravely. "Do you remember when our dear Anthony was nearly blown up the first time, perhaps two years ago?"

"Yeah," was the only reply.

"The body we recovered then was also severely damaged. The body we recovered today is in no better condition. The body had Anthony's blood type. However, I determined it was not our Anthony by examining his lungs,"

"Tony had the pneumonic plague and our dead guy didn't," Gibbs said, remembering that terrifying time. He felt like he was having de ja vu as he stood in the autopsy room just as he had then.

"That's right. I'm afraid to say that this body we have here had both the plague and Anthony's blood type,"


	2. Sinking In

**A/N: Sorry about the weird formatting last time. FFN was being weird and not cooperating, so here's the deal: There are a lot of similarities to a past episode, but there isn't meant to be unless stated. **

**I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters.**

**This may be slightly OOC, but I'm trying to keep it in line. **

**Lemme know what you think and how I can improve it. **

**I already have the next chapter and half of the 4****th**** chapter written, but let me know if there's anything at all you'd like to see.**

**I love the feedback, and thanks for the previous reviews guys!**

It had been a restless night for the entire team, especially Ziva. It was four in the morning when she finally gave up on getting any sleep. The hot shower and long hours spent trying to read had done nothing for her. All she could think about were her mistakes. How much she missed him. How much she loved him.

There had been physical attraction between them from that first moment they met each other. But over time, they became friends. They grew close. And then somewhere between the jokes and the frustrations, she fell in love. It had happened slowly yet still so quickly. Ziva laughed aloud to herself as she got into her car, thinking of the time they spent in Los Angeles, before Jenny died. The photos at the pool, the drive on the overcrowded freeway… And then Jenny died. And they changed. The summer they spent apart had only assured Ziva of her feelings for him. But he never called. Not once. He had always called. But when she finally saw him again, she felt certain she couldn't be happier. She forgave him in that first moment that she saw Tony standing there, grinning back at her.

Palmer was right. Tony was stupid too. _What is it… what was it about him that could make me so weak?_

The drive to NCIS HQ had never felt shorter. She walked to the elevator, expecting it to be empty. Much to her surprise, she met Gibbs there. She entered the elevator and he switched on the emergency off.

He relayed Ducky's findings to her. As he did so, Ziva's eyes wandered around the room, as if she was lost.

"So it really was him,"

He didn't look at her, didn't say anything. Silence filled the air for several minutes until Ziva finally spoke.

"I am sorry, Gibbs,"

"Sign of weakness,"

"Well I guess that I what I have become. Weak. I was too weak to tell Tony no. Had I done it, he would be alive now," she was growing frustrated.

"It wasn't your fault," He said simply. "Didn't you tell tony that when Jenny…" He didn't need to finish his sentence.

"It is not the same," she said coldly. "Jenny was my _boss_. She made her choice. We could do nothing. But I… I could have done something to stop this. He's gone. Tony is dead. Because of me," at that, Ziva began to cry. Gibbs lovingly pulled her into his arms. "I loved him," she said softly through her sobs which racked her body. "I never told him,"

"_Shhh_," Gibbs coaxed as he rocked her gently, back and forth, back and forth. He hated to see someone who was so very much like a daughter to him suffer so much. He hated it even more knowing that it was because she lost someone she loved. Gibbs wasn't one to let on about his emotions, but Tony had been like a son. "We're going to figure this out," He wiped her tears with his thumb. Ziva nodded as she took a deep breath.

A tear slipped down Abby's cheek. There had to be a way to find out if Tony really was dead. She was racking her mind for anything that could possibly help. The body was too damaged for facial reconstruction. After all, not much of it was left at all.

McGee walked into her lab and put his arm around her shoulders. A second tear slipped down her cheek and her dark makeup began to run.

"I don't know what we're gonna do if it really is him, Timmy,"

"I know," he said. "I know… You're here really early today,"

"Try really late. That paperwork took forever to finish, and then I couldn't bring myself to go home,"

"He can't be gone," Abby said after a few minutes. "He can't,"

Ziva sat in the familiar chair at the familiar desk of her co-worker. Her friend. The man she loved. It was empty, and wrongfully so. She pulled open a drawer and pawed through looking at various scraps of paper. Some had his writing, others were typed. Ziva pulled out a piece of white printer paper. As she read it, she began to understand. Just like he always did, Gibbs flew in at that moment.

"Got somethin'?" He asked without even questioning her why she was sitting at Tony's desk.

"I think so. Read this," Ziva handed him his glasses with a small smile, the first time since she had arrived at work yesterday morning.

"A threat letter," Gibbs said. "Get this to Abby," As she left the squadroom, he noticed her cell phone had been left on her desk. Remembering what she said in her statement about the text she received, he opened the phone. Though he wasn't one to have much patience with modern technology, this was important. He couldn't wait for McGee or Abby to connect the dots. He had to see for himself.

Ziva leaned against the elevator wall, feeling helpless and useless. This small "room" had been so important to the team. She thought back to the time when she nearly told tony how she felt. They had been arguing.

"_I'm tired of pretending,"_

"_So am I,"_

So close. _I should have taken the chance while I had it,_ Ziva thought.


	3. Answers

She had only one thing on her mind: Tony. She fought her feelings and emotions for nearly five years, and now it was too late. Being in that room, sitting across from his desk… It was too much. Ziva had to get out of there. Without a word, she gathered her things and drove down to the pier were the explosion had occurred the day before. Had it really only been a day? It felt like years since she last saw Tony. _Tony. _

Despite the fact that the parking lot was a good ten minute walk through the chilly air, she left it there and walked slowly to yesterday's scene. She stood near the edge on the wooden dock, ignoring the cold of the air. The sun was rising gloriously. The water in front of her shimmered.

"Tony would have a movie quote for this," Ziva said aloud and laughed a little to herself. "Those stupid movie quotes. Oh, they drove me crazy," Remembering his charming grin that always appeared whenever she admonished him for such things, she began to shiver. "I am sorry, Tony. I am sorry. I could not protect you. I failed you. And now I am out here, talking to myself. I must be going crazy." She began to cry again. "I am so sorry. I am so weak. You—you made me that way. When you entered my life I could not control myself anymore. I softened," she said through her tears. She knew there was no way he could hear her, and the reality only made her lonliness more painful. "I should have been the one to die. I should have done something, something more. Please, please come back to use. To me,"

"As you wish," A familiar voice replied. At first, Ziva thought she was just imagining it. Or perhaps her mind was playing tricks on her.

She turned around slowly, just her head first. That's when she saw him. A cry escaped her mouth, though she tried to cover it. He stood there, illuminated by the early morning light. He smiled compassionately.

"Tony?" Ziva whispered, her brow furrowed. She became breathless as she began walk slowly to him.

"The one and only," He said, grinning through the bright sunrays rising behind her. At that, Ziva run into his strong arms. For what seemed like years, they stood there, embracing one another. He stroked her hair as she cried into his shoulder and grasped at his coat, still hardly able to believe that it really was him.

"You were dead," she whispered.

"You know better than to believe everything you hear," He said, smiling incredulously. He cupped her face with his hand. How he wanted to kiss her. "Come with me," He said instead, taking her hand. He led her to the warehouse.

"I saw it explode,"

"I'm sorry," Was all he could say as they stood in front of it. He put his arm around her shoulders and stared up at it.

"I… I could not protect you,"

"You don't get it, do you?" He laughed softly. He led her inside, stepping carefully over the charred debris. "I walked in here," He bent down and pulled a latch, opening a trap door in the ground. "Climbed down through here," He climbed the ladder that led them down thirty feet below the ground. Tony pulled out a small flashlight from his pocket. "Walked through this tunnel, through this doorway, got into a car, a drove away,"

"I still do not understand,"

"I staged my own murder," He smiled again, seeming quite please with himself.

"But, why would you do such a thing? If it was for attention, I swear I'll—" Ziva began to get angry and threw up her defenses.

"They were going to kill you. Then they were going to kill me,"

"Why?

"The murder, the one who was killing all those Marines. I got too close. I figured out who the killed was. He threatened me,"

"I know,"

"You saw the letter?"

"Yes, but it said nothing about me,"

"That was the first of the letters. The second said that if I didn't back off, they'd kill you, and then they'd kill me,"

"I can handle myself,"

"I know you can. But I didn't want to take any chances. This guy, he is a pro. And he has connections in high places. ," Tony looked her in the eyes. _I couldn't stand loosing you too._

"Who was the man in the warehouse?"

"He was the Marine, unfortunately. He was already dead when I got there. I knew about the bomb, but the bombers didn't know about the tunnel," Tony explained.

"Ducky said he had the same blood type. He had even had the plague,"

"Coincidence," Tony offered.

"Gibbs doesn't believe in coincidences,"

"This time he'll have to," Silence agin.

"The text message?" Ziva suddenly remembered.

"It was the only way I could tell you I was sorry. I would have told you. I would have told you everything if I knew you would be safe. But with me out of the picture, it wouldn't be a problem anymore," He stroked her cheek. "I was trying to protect _you_. It's time you let someone protect you," Ziva looked at the ground.

"You were gone. You left without a word. Do you have any idea..?" Ziva asked, growing angry.

"I had no choice!"

"You could have told me, you could have told Gibbs! You have every choice in the world!"

"I was protecting you!" He cried, throwing his hands in the air.

"I don't need protecting," Then out of nowhere, a round of bullets rang out. They drew their guns much like they had a day earlier. They were coming from everywhere. Tony shot out, trying to determine where the shooter, or shooters, were. After awhile, however, the fire stopped. Tony turned around only to find Ziva, lying silent on the dirt, a pool of blood streaming out from underneath her.


	4. Vulnerable

**A/N: Happy Valentine's Day. I wasn't going to post this much, but after receiving 3,320 hits on this story only 3 chapters in, I think you guys deserve a little gift. However: please review. There are only 20 reviews on this story. Seriously guys? 3,320 hits and only 20 reviews? I don't write this for reviews—I write it because I enjoy it. But you, the reader, are what make it really worth it. I want all of the input and criticism and feedback and praises and critiques you can give me. Just show me that you actually like it and tell me what you'd like to see, ok?**

**Also: I got to watch a filming of NCIS a couple weeks ago. Michael Weatherly is just as wonderful, fyi. I got to meet him and talk to him for a while. Mark Harmon too. And William Webb, one of the Directors of Photography, as well as Sean Murray and Cote de Pablo. They are all amazing. And the episode? Ah. It will be wonderful. The episode is called "Hide and Seek". It's number 134 and should air in March or April. It's going to be fabulous, people. I don't have any real spoilers or anything, but what I know already? It's fabulous. It's all **_**fabulous**_**.**

_Beeep….beeep…beep….beeep….beeep…_

The sound from the heart rate monitor was slow and steady. After a week spent in the ICU, Ziva finally had her own room. It would have been a time of much gratefulness, had she not been in a coma.

Tony thought back to the warehouse where Ziva had been shot five days before.

_She lay there on her stomach, still as stone. Her gun was still grasped in her hand, but it was emptied of bullets. One bullet hole. Two. Two bullets. Tony whipped around, looking for the shooter. But all that surrounded them was silence. This could only mean one thing: he was never the target. Ziva was. _

_Ziva's arm had been pierced with a bullet . Tony pulled off his tie and tied it tightly around her arm. Careful not to turn her over completely, he checked to see where there other bullet. _Uh oh,_ Tony thought._ This isn't good_. A bullet had gone through her stomach. _

"_Please, Ziva, come on, stay with me," Tony pulled out his phone and called 911. They'd be there in fifteen minutes. Their location had only hindered them. Tony thought fast: Gibbs. Tony pressed speed dial 1. _

"_Yeah," The familiar voice answered._

"_Gibbs,"_

"_Tony?" This was the first time they'd had contact since the morning of the explosion, but in his gut, Gibbs had known the truth all along. "Is Ziva with you?"_

"_Boss there's not much time. She's been shot and she's losing a lot of blood. We're are the warehouse on the other side,"_

"_I'll be there," Tony knew he would. He waited there with Ziva. She had lost consciousness long ago. There was nothing else he could do now by wait for Gibbs._

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?" The nurse by the door interrupted Tony's thoughts. He had been sitting at Ziva's bedside every moment he spent not investigating the case. He had been there for three hours now, his thoughts drifting from regret to regret, reliving those last moments. He had never felt so hopeless. "Sir, visiting hours are over,"

"I don't think I'll be disturbing her," He said quietly. He gazed at her face. It was pale. She looked so peaceful, yet so weak and frail.

The nurse sighed. "I'm going to go get some coffee. I'll be back in fifteen minutes to check on her," Tony knew what she meant.

"Thank you," He said, turning around. The nurse looked at him sympathetically. He looked worn, defeated. "I'm sorry," He whispered to the young woman lying there before him. His own words sounded so much like hers had as she sat alone at the pier, tears falling down her face. He didn't let on then, but it had broken his heart. Part of him always knew that her reaction would show how she really felt about him. He just had no idea how much it had affected her. He touched her cheek softly. "I guess we both suck at our jobs. No offense," He smiled, knowing that were she able t reply, she'd come up with a sarcastic reply. Tony looked around the room. The white walls seemed to be taunting him. The black roses from Abby beside Ziva's bed seemed to be blaming him. "Be strong, DiNozzo," He told himself.

The last time he felt like this, it was because of Jenny. She had been on their protection detail. But he chose to obey her orders and she died because of it. Would this pattern repeat itself in his life forever? He glanced at the clock. The nurse would be here any minute, and he didn't wasn't to see the pitying look on her face again. He stood and bent down, kissing Ziva's cheek. He walked out of Bethesda into the cold rain. Instead of walking towards the parking garage, he turned down the street. The normally busy street was deserted. Before him stood a dark figure; he knew who it was.

"Hey Boss," He greeted the silver-haired man. He handed him a cup of coffee, and Tony took it gratefully.

"How's she doin'?" Gibbs always got straight to the point.

"Same," They began walking. "Sorry, Boss,"

"What is it with you people telling me sorry all of a sudden? You know better,"

"No, I don't. I messed up. I tried to protect her and I messed up," Gibbs laughed.

"She said the same thing, DiNozzo,"

"I know,"

"You're both wrong. It's not your fault. It's not her fault,"

"But—"

"Have I ever been wrong, Tony?" Gibbs stopped and turned to face him.

"No,"

"You guys have got to start listening to me. Did that summer afloat soften you up?"

Now it was Tony's turn to laugh. He thought of the pictures of Ziva he had posted on his wall on the USS Seahawk. She had nearly killed him when she found out.

"Failure. It's the story of my life," Tony stared at the street in front of him as they began to walk again.

"Stop the pity-party, DiNozzo. That's an order," Gibbs looked him in the eye. He meant business. Tony sighed silent. He knew Gibbs was right. He always was. "She loves you," Tony stopped again and stared at Gibbs.

"She does?"

"Yeah," Gibbs took a sip of his coffee.

"I think I--"

"I know,"

"Rule twelve?"

"If it hinders your performance, I'll slap you both all the way to Brazil,"

"Not Mexico?" Tony thought back to the summer without Gibbs.

"Mexico's mine," Gibbs said with a twinkle in his eye, and Tony laughed.

"What about her dad?"

"We'll deal with it when we get there,"

"We?" Tony questioned.

"We," was the only reply.

Tony shuffled slowly down the street. The rain was still pouring down heavily. Gibbs had left him forty minutes earlier, but Tony wasn't sure what to do now. He was still getting over the shock that Gibbs would actually support him in this. He, the man who had always been against relationships between co-workers, was giving him the opportunity of a lifetime; the opportunity to pursue the woman he loved. The woman he would give his life for. Tony pushed his hand through his sandy brown hair. He was soaking wet. Suddenly, he had an idea.

Ziva stirred softly. _Tony_. Was he alright? She couldn't remember anything after the bullets began to fly. Was he hurt? She tried to open her eyes, but couldn't. It began to come back to her. Ziva remembered the things she heard him say as he sat beside her. She felt as if she'd been gone for a very, very long time. _Come on, Ziva. Open your eyes._ After what seemed like hours of trying, she was able to open her eyes. She looked over to see machines all around her, buzzing and humming and beeping. Across from her was a window. It was raining, and the sky was darkening. Looking over to the other side, she saw something that made her smile. She reached over and picked up a DVD that had been lying on her bedside table. _The Sound of Music_. Tied to it with a ribbon was a white lily.

"I must have done something good," sang the characters. Ziva smiled from her bed and she watched the pair so in love finally come together. The bullet had narrowly missed any of her vital organs, and her arm would be sore for a while, but in a few weeks she'd be able to return to the job she loved so much. She was sitting up just a little, supported by several white pillows, watching the screen intently. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tony.

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty," He grinned and walked in, two cups in her hand, one filled with coffee, the other with tea. He handed the tea to Ziva and she took it gratefully. "How's the patient?" This was the first time he'd spoken to her in five days and this was all he could think to say. _You're ridiculous, DiNozzo_. He didn't let it show.

"I am doing well. I should be out of here in a day or two. The nurses say I was out for five days,"

"Yeah, you got hit pretty hard," Tony said, wincing just the slightest at the memory. "You lost a lot of blood,"

"Did you catch him?"

"Yeah, Gibbs cracked the case yesterday. He's in custody now,"

"He wasn't after you, was he?"

"No," Tony said, after a minute. "He was after you,"

"But why?"

"Something about an undercover mission in Puerto Rico?"

"Ah," Ziva smiled. "That one,"

"Anyone else who wants to kill you that you should tell me about?" Ziva began to laugh, then groaned softly at the pain. "Sorry," Tony said.

"No anxieties," Ziva said, leaning back into the pillows.

"Worries," Tony corrected, smiling. "I have a surprise for you. Come with me,"

"Last time you told me to come with you, we both got into trouble," Ziva replied, a hint of wariness and jesting both in her voice.

"It's ok this time, I promise," He stood and offered her his arm. Ziva took it and stood slowly. The morphine had done its job well, and she walked with much less pain than she expected. He led her out to the patio that was outside of the hospital. As they approached, Ziva saw strings of lights and a table covered in a red checkered cloth. He led her to the table and she sat down. On her plate was a box of Italian chocolates, and beside her was a rose.

"What is going on?" She asked him with a sly smile. He pulled a blanket out from under his chair and wrapped it around her.

"I thought you'd prefer this setting to your hospital room," Tony served her a plate of hospital food. "Trust me, you'll appreciate the hospital's food when you don't get sick to your stomach tonight," Ziva gave him a look. "Gibbs' advice," She laughed gently.

"Gibbs is in on this?"

"He nearly threatened the nurses to allow this," Tony replied.

"I see," Ziva said. She looked around. "I am afraid I am not very hungry,"

"Hold on," Tony said, reaching down. When he rose, he had produced a cup of Berry Mango Madness. Her favorite. "I figure it won't give you too much trouble," Ziva laughed and took the cup gratefully. The sweet flavor was refreshing after having only water and hospital food all day.

"Thank you, Tony," Tony watched her from across the table intently.

"You've changed a lot," He mused.

"I am not the only one," Ziva said, her eyes meeting his. She suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable.

"You were right, what you said on the dock? You have grown softer,"

"More vulnerable," She elaborated, regret sounding in her voice.

"Vulnerable can be a good thing, you know,"

"No, Tony, I do not," She almost sounded angry, but not with Tony.

"When you got here you had this wall surrounding you. You wouldn't let anyone in,"

"And why is that?" She met his eyes again.

"Because you're afraid," Any other day, Ziva would laugh at such a statement. But as she sat in her chair, dressed in a hospital gown and wrapped in a blanket, drinking nothing but water and eating nothing but hospital food, she knew he was right. She stayed silent for a few minutes, her mind mulling through the things he had just said. She stared at the ground, feeling weak and exposed.

"I… I cannot live any other way. I grew up in a place where one is always looking over his shoulder. Where death is a common part of life that everyone has had terrible experiences with. And my job? If I am not careful, being vulnerable could get me killed. Or the ones I love killed," Ziva looked up at Tony again. His eyes had never left her face. Her heart stopped beating for a moment.

_Does she?_

_Could he?_

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Unsaid words hung in the air. Just as Tony opened his mouth to say something, a nurse approached them.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we need to get Miss David back to her room,"

Tony cleared his throat. "Of course," He helped her up and walked her inside. His arm found its way to her waist, supporting her as she was still weak. She got into her bed and just as Tony was leaving, she called after him.

"Tony,"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you,"

"Anytime. I'll see you tomorrow," He said genuinely. As he began walking down the hall, the nurse approached him once again.

"I just want you to know that what you did for Miss David was very sweet. She's lucky to have a man like you in her life,"

"Well, I don't know that I'm in her life, persay,"

"If you're not, you should be," The nurse stared him in the eye, and he knew what she meant.


	5. Defense

**A/N: Hey guys. This chapter is somewhat longerish (for me, anyway) so I think I deserve a few extra reviews, no? You guys have been fantastic with the views and have given some really great responses. However. A few more reviews would be nice. :)**

**I'm not a big fan of where this story is going, and you'll see why. I know I'm kind of dragging it out, but that's how relationships are sometimes. They take time. I've been a little stuck lately on how to pull it back together, but I think we're getting there. The beginning of the next chapter is in the works already, but I still need some feedback. Let me know how I can improve, and the kinds of situations and moments you'd liek to see between the characters. If anything seems too OOC, let me know and I'll work on it. Staying true to the characters' personalities is a priority for me, but you know how it can be sometimes.**

**I think that is a long enough A/N.**

**Oh, and I own nothing to do with NCIS, though I'd like to. :)**

* * *

"That's a mighty fine man you've got there," another nurse commented to Ziva as she went about her room performing various tasks.

"Yes," Ziva replied quietly. A small smile produced on her face.

"How long have you been together?"

"Oh, we are not together," Ziva corrected.

"Now, why not?"

"It is complicated," Ziva remembered the conversation she had once had with Tony regarding that very word, and what it meant to Americans.

"Well, men like him don't come around every day," she said. "Now is there anything else you need?"

_Him._ "No, I am fine,"

"Alright, then. You should be discharged tomorrow morning. Goodnight," the nurse walked out of the room, flipping the lights off. Ziva reached over to the small table beside her and placed the rose she had saved from dinner in her water cup along with the lily from earlier that day. She smiled, and somehow found her way to sleep.

Tony walked out of the hospital to his car. Half expecting another attempt on his life, Tony took a quick look around the parking structure and under his car. Feeling sort of ridiculous, he unlocked his car and bent in, throwing his coat in on the passenger seat.

"How'd it go?" Tony was startled and bumped his head against the roof of his car. He turned around to see Gibbs standing there.

"Geeze Boss," He said, rubbing that back of his head.

"Well?"

"It went great. Thanks for intimidating the hospital staff for us," Tony smiled inwardly at that word. _Us._ Gibbs nodded slightly, a twinkle in his eye. "I just wish… I wish she would let her guard down for once, ya know?" He continued to be silent.

Gibbs thought back to his life before Shannon and Kelly died. His guard was always down because it never needed to be up. And then in the blink of an eye…

"There's gotta be something more I can do," Tony said, feeling frustrated.

* * *

Ziva awoke the next morning, a soft smile on her face as the sun gently rose through her window. She thought back to the night before. Tony had been so wonderful. And she, well, hadn't. She slowly sat up and as she did, she saw the flowers sitting beside her. He deserved better than her. He deserved someone who could open up. Being vulnerable wasn't something she could do. She didn't have a choice. Every moment she spent vulnerable was another moment that her life and the lives of everyone she cared about were at risk.

A cheery nurse entered Ziva's room, interrupting her thoughts. "Well good morning Miss David. How did you sleep?"

Ziva smiled. "Fine, thank you,"

"Well good. The doctor will be here in half-an-hour," She said as she looked over Ziva's papers, then over at her flowers. "Those are lovely,"

"Yes," Ziva said quietly.

"I take it last night went well then?"

_How do I answer?_ "It was very nice," Ziva replied calmly. The truth became more evident to her with every comment from a nurse.

"He seems like a wonderful young man,"

"That is what everyone keeps saying," Her eyes never left the flowers.

"I'll go get you your breakfast," The nurse left the room.

_He deserves someone better. I need to let it go. I need to let _it_ go. He is not mine. He can never be._ Ziva's heart ached more than the pain she had felt only two days before. _I will not cry. I will be strong. I have to be._

* * *

An hour later, Tony turned up in Ziva's room, a wide grin on his face. This time, he had a bouquet of sunflowers in one hand and a large cup of tea in his other.

"Good morning," He said. Ziva was sitting in her bed, reading a book.

"Good morning," He handed her the tea. "Thank you, Tony," He set her bouquet on the bedside table.

"Abby will be here soon with some clothes and such for you,"

"Good," She was noticeably colder this morning. It was like a blow to his stomach.

"I'll be driving you home. We can pick up something for lunch if you'd like if you want to eat early, or I can cook something for you. I make a mean fettuccine. DiNozzo family secret recipe," He grinned, covering up his hurt.

"Oh no Tony, that is not necessary,"

"Hey, we can't have you getting killed on the way home. And you're in no shape to drive,"

"I have driven in worse conditions than this," She said defensively.

"It's doctors orders," Tony said, putting his hands up innocently.

"And mine," Gibbs said walking into the room.

"Hey Boss," Tony said. Gibbs ignored him.

"How you feeling?" He looked Ziva straight in the eye, but his care was obvious.

"I am fine, but Tony insists on treating me like a child. I can get my own lunch. I can drive myself home,"

"No, David, you can't," Gibbs stood his ground.

"But Gibbs—"

"Did you not hear me the first time?" Ziva leaned back into her pillows, defeated.

"Fine," She shrugged and looked anywhere but at Tony. Gibbs noticed this too and glanced curiously at Tony, who shook his head slightly.

"Zivaaaaa!" A voice from the hall cried, growing louder every second. Abby. She ran to Ziva, hugging her tightly with one hand, as the other held Ziva's bag. Ziva moaned just a little at the pain. "Oh, sorry. Here's your stuff. So I heard what Tony did! It's _so_ sweet! So are you two like dating or what?"

"Ziva, your mouth runs a million miles a minute," Tony commented, uncomfortable at her last comment. Yesterday, he wouldn't have minded so much. But today, Ziva was off.

"My mind goes even faster," She declared, pigtails swinging, her hands on her hips confidently. Tony couldn't help but smile at the familiar sight. "Now, Ziva needs to change, so shoo!" she pushed to two men out of the room and handed Ziva her bag and left the room, knowing Ziva would appreciate the temporary privacy, which likely wouldn't last much longer.

"Thank you, Abby," Ziva was changed in a few minutes, and Abby came back in and helped her gather her things. McGee had arrived, and the three guys were scouring the hospital for some decent coffee.

"So tell me all about last night. I want to hear _everything_,"

"It was lovely,"

"Oh please. Ziva. Give me some details!"

"Well, there were strings of lights everywhere. A red and white blanket on the table. He brought me a smoothie and a rose—"

"Awww!" Abby said enthusiastically. "So you're together now, right?"

"No,"

"Why not?"

Ziva sighed. "It is not right, Abby,"

"That's a pathetic excuse,"

"I am not right for him,"

"Did Tony say that?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Give it a chance, Ziva. These things sometimes take time,"

"You do not understand," Ziva said factually.

"But—" It was then that the men entered again.

"Hey Ziva. How you doin'?" McGee asked with a small smile.

"I am fine," She didn't make eye contact with anyone.

* * *

"So what do you feel like? Chinese? Burgers? Pizza? Or my famous fettuccine?" Tony was trying to keep up his cheerful façade as they drove. Ziva sat in the passenger seat silently, leaning as far from him as she possibly could.

"Tony—"

"You have to eat, and you're in no shape to cook," Tony pointed out.

"Chinese is fine,"

"Naw, you know what? I'll cook for you,"

"I already—"

"Too late," Tony grinned at her as he turned down the street to her apartment. They walked into her apartment a few minutes later.

"You are so lucky you have an elevator. My apartment complex is a piece of crap," He said as he set her bag down on the couch. He began to inspect her kitchen.

_How do I do this?_ Ziva wondered. Thirty minutes later, lunch was ready.

"Now I know fettuccine isn't exactly lunch food, but you'll just have to deal," He said as he set it on the table. He sat down across from her as she began to serve herself. He stared at her. Ziva could feel him watching her. It took everything within her not to look up and stare back into his blue eyes. "Listen about last night…" Ziva looked down at the floor. She was afraid of what he might hear. _David, you are a trained Mossad assassin and you are afraid of what your partner has to say? You kill for a living and you're letting this scare you?_

"I'm sorry for prying into your life. It's not my place," Ziva looked up at him for the first time that day, her heart filling with both surprise and pain.

"I am not sure what to say," She replied.

"That's my point. You don't have to say anything you don't want to, got it?"

"Yes," Ziva said, looking down again. Suddenly, he reached out for her hand which had been resting on the table near her plate. He wasn't trying to rush things, but rather show her that he cared. Surprised again, this time having surprised herself, she let him take it. She felt safe. Protected. "Tony, I do not understand. What is it you are trying to do?" She read the answer in his eyes.

"You deserve someone who can be vulnerable. Open. That is what you want, yes? I cannot. I am sorry but that is not how I am. I… I cannot," She stood, feeling uneasy about the whole conversation. She began pacing as she said this, slowly, but pacing nonetheless.

"Didn't you just here me say—" He stood too.

"People say a lot of things, Tony. It does not mean that they mean it,"

"But I do, Ziva,"

"No, Tony, you do not and you know it. If you could have any woman you wanted, you would choose someone who you know trusts you with anything and everything, yes?"

"Oh, so now you don't trust me?"

"It is not that Tony—" She saw the hurt in his eyes, and tears began to well up in her own.

"Listen, I'm sorry about everything that happened back at the warehouse. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I'm sorry I let you get shot and I'm sorry you had to pay for my mistakes. I'm sorry I tried to show you that I loved you and I'm sorry I was stupid enough to believe that maybe you loved me back," With that, he stormed out of the apartment, leaving Ziva stunned, still standing in her dining room.

After several minutes, she finally made her way to her bedroom. She lay down on her bed, unable to think or cry or sleep. The rain had begun again, and now it seemed to be singing a song of regret outside her window.


	6. Worth It

**A/N: Hey guys. This is your gift for letting me drag this out way too long, for making them fight, and for giving me over 3,000 visitors and over 5,000 hits this month. I don't know what that number is in comparison to anyone else here on FFN, but I'm honored to get any visitors at all, so this number is simply astonishing to me. :)**

**Anyway, this is the end. I hope you enjoy reading it, I know I did. Please review and let me know how I can improve for next time. I'll be posting a new story soon, just a little oneshot insight into Tony's mind. So keep your eyes open.**

**Oh, and sorry about all of the typos and messed up formatting and such. Thanks for stickin through it with me. :)**

**See you soon!**

**--Autumn Gray**

"McGee, open up!" Tony pounded on McGee's door until he opened up.

"I thought we had the day off," McGee said, finally letting Tony inside, who headed straight for the kitchen.

"We do,"

"So why are you here?"

"I was bored," Tony pulled out a club sandwich from the refrigerator.

"I thought you were spending the day with Ziva," McGee grabbed the sandwich from Tony's hands.

"Well, I'm not," Tony grabbed it back.

"Well last time you came over you terrorized me for hours," McGee grabbed it back.

Tony glared at him. "I'm senior field agent and I need refueling," He reached for it, but McGee held it away.

"You're not on duty, you can't make that call,"

"Federal field agents are never off duty," Tony took the sandwich once again.

"According to who?"

"Gibbs," Tony said with a grin. He won.

Defeated, McGee took a soda out of the fridge and sat on the couch. Tony sat in a chair across from him. Food had always helped him get whatever was on his mind off his mind.

"So is Ziva all settled in?" McGee.

"Yeah," was the only reply. Tony took another bit; it was nearly gone now.

"Gibbs says she'll be back at work in a few days, and out in the field in a few weeks. That's good,"

"Sure is," Tony wasn't letting on, but McGee could see something was off.

"Did something happen between you two? Did you get in a fight?"

Tony's sandwich was gone now, so he had no excuse not to answer. "Uh, yeah," There was no tone in his voice. Perhaps he _had_ been spending too much time with Ziva.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Nah, Probie," after a few seconds, Tony started talking. "I told her she should be more open, you know, about life. Then she got kind of mad. Then I said I was sorry and she still got mad. This crazy ninja chick is getting crazier by the minute,"

"Aren't you the one who is always talking about his famous skills in dealing with women?"

"Ziva's not—" Tony laughed and nodded his slip in speech. They both thought back to a conversation they once had, very similar to this with Ziva in the bullpen. Those were happy times; easy. "I just can't seem to understand her,"

"Seems like there's a lot both of you are missing," McGee commented. He was a lot more insightful than he seemed; Tony knew he was right.

"I just… I don't know what do for once, you know?" Tony couldn't believe he was letting himself talk to Probie like this. He had reached an all time low.

"Maybe you should just wait a little while. Let things cool down for a bit," Tony nodded silently. Maybe he should.

It had been two months since then. Thing certainly had cooled down. Tony still teased McGee. Ziva still threatened them. Gibbs still head-slapped them. Abby still breathed in Caf-Pow. But something was different. They could all feel it.

"_Do you ever think about soulmates?" Ziva asked, leaning up against the vending machine._

"_They were on Decca, right? Big hit, mid seventies? Sort of a disco thing? Sing a few bars, I'll get it,"_

"_You'll never get it," Ziva walked away_.

"_She died alone," Tony said wistfully._

"_We are all alone,"_

"_Yeah thanks for that. I just mean she never got married, never had any children; never even heard her talk about it… Paris," He looked at her, and for a moment their eyes met before he looked off again. "That's when it must have happened,"_

"_The two of them alone, in another world,"_

"_Putting their lives in each other's hands every day," He was looking at her again, but she wouldn't look back._

"_Not to mention the long nights,"_

"_It was inevitable,"_

"_Nothing is inevitable," She finally met his eyes._

Those conversations had been so long ago. He had waited too long. He had so many chances. _You're an idiot, DiNozzo_.

"We've got a visitor," Gibbs said, charging through the bullpen, coffee in hand. Tony stood.

"Who, Boss?" Gibbs looked at Ziva.

"My father is here," She said, not making eye contact with her.

"What?" Tony was shocked, and he wasn't even sure why. His thoughts began to race. "Why?" Ziva shrugged and followed Gibbs upstairs to the conference room.

"Tony, McGee, you come too," Gibbs called from the landing. They quickly rushed to keep up.

"Eli," Gibbs said, shaking Director Eli David's hand. Vance stood to the right, and Ziva beside her father, eyes trained on the fascinating floor.

"Jethro. How are you?" _How could the director of Mossad be so… friendly?_ His kindness, however, didn't reach his eyes, and Gibbs saw it.

"Doin' fine. You?"

"I am well," Eli replied.

"Why are you here?" Gibbs always cut to the chase, and today was no different.

"Just wanted to see my daughter. She was nearly murdered twice in nearly three months,"

"You know it's part of the job," Gibbs looked him squarely in the eye and Eli took a seat in one of the chairs.

"Ziva has spent nearly five years here,"

"She's been back to Israel more than once," Gibbs reminded. Tony could see where this was going.

"I just thought you should know that I am considering terminating the Mossad liaison position here at NCIS,"

"We need her here," Gibbs took a step forward, but the Mossad director wasn't fazed.

"You did fine without her before,"

"You didn't come all the way here to tell me you were _considering_ this, did you?"

Eli looked at Tony and McGee. "Eli," He introduced himself. The two young men shook his hand. Tony looked into Eli's eyes, who laughed. "How long have you worked for Gibbs?"

"Almost eight years," Tony straightened up.

"It shows," He looked him up and down. "You and Agent McGee are dismissed. Ziva, you may go with them," The three walked out of the room silently, anger and frustration thick in the air. They walked out to the railing that overlooked the squadroom.

"So," Tony said, leaning over it. Ziva stood beside him.

"So," She replied.

"You're really going back then?"

"He has not made up his mind just yet, Tony," She glanced at him, then quickly looked away.

"But why?"

"I do not know,"

"Don't lie to me,"

"Oh, you mean like you lied to me?"

"I told you, I didn't lie!" Tony threw his hands up in defense of his innocence.

"Ah!" Ziva cried , her hands on her head. This was too much. She circled herself in frustration. "Don't you realize that—" It was then that they saw McGee standing just a few feet away. He looked shocked. He had seen them fight before, really badly. But never this badly.

Ziva looked back at Tony and her eyes began to well up with tears. No. Not now. Not with her father just down the hall.

"Ziva," He reached out for her hand, not caring about McGee's presence. He didn't care that Vance, Gibbs, even Eli could turn the corner and see them. At this moment, she was all he cared about.

Ziva watched him move for her hand. She felt torn, wanting to let him take it and still wanting to run away. "I can't take this anymore, I'm sorry," She whispered and ran down the stairs to her desk. She quickly gathered her things and ran to the elevator. Tony stood there by the railing, his eyes following her. Just as the elevator doors closed, she looked up at him. He looked her in the eyes, but she only shook her head sadly.

Tony slumped down, leaning against the railing, and confused and hurt expression covering his face. What now?

Ziva felt lost. She had never felt lost before. This wasn't like her. It practically wasn't her. She didn't succumb to pain, physical or emotional. Years of training taught her that it was too dangerous. Years of danger taught her how important her training was.

Ziva fiddled with her NCIS badge. Their relationship had never been simple. Why should this be any different? They had fought before. But perhaps this time… perhaps it was time to let it rest for good.

Tony was sitting on a swing at the park. Children ran around him wildly. He wished he could feel as carefree as they did at that moment. Instead, he felt like he was at a dead end. He needed her. He needed her presence, her touch. He loved her odd inflections in her voice. He loved the way she confused idioms and her sarcastic humor. But now, he was at a loss as of what to do. She had fought back everything he offered. Tony sat there, staring at his hands, clueless.

"Ziva?" Walking toward him was the very woman he had fought with earlier. She sat down on the swing next to him.

"I have been thinking," she said quietly. "I am going back to Israel with my father,"

"What?"

"I do not belong here," _You belong with me._

"Of course you do!" Tony was shocked, yet again.

"I do not want to do this again. I am tired of fighting with you," She inspected the woodchips underneath her feet.

"So am I,"

"Don't go,"

"It is too late, Tony,"

"It wasn't too late two months ago,"

"It almost was," She retorted.

"But it wasn't! I saved you!"

"I did not need to be saved,"

"Ha! They were going to kill you and you didn't even know it. I recall that I was the only one who knew and therefore, the only one who could protect you!"

"Tony, stop," It was then he realized how close to tears the Mossad ninja girl was to tears. She was desperately fighting to stay "normal" and calm.

He sighed and rubbed his hands through his hair. "You're right, I'm sorry,"

"I am going to Israel with my father at the end of the week. What is done is done," Tony stayed silent. She stood and began to walk away, when she stopped and turned around. "Did you not realize you were pushing me away?"

"What did I do wrong?" Tony asked Gibbs. Somehow, he had found himself alone in the elevator with Gibbs, and desperately took the opportunity. His was driving him insane. Ziva had left yesterday, and they were both already sick of her replacement. "I didn't think I was being some sort of stalker,"

Gibbs slapped the back of Tony's head. "That's for thinking it was her fault. When Tony was silent for a minute, he slapped him again.

"Hey! What the heck was that for?"

"That," Gibbs turned on the elevator again. "Was for thinking it was her fault. And for screwing up this team," Tony suddenly realized what he had done.

"I didn't try—"

"I know, DiNozzo," The elevator doors opened and Gibbs strode out swiftly.

Instead of following his boss out into the squadroom, he stayed in the elevator and pulled out his cell phone. He had a plan.

"Hey Gibbs," Gibbs walked into Abby's lab. "Ok, so where's Tony? I haven't seen him all day," she took the Caf-Pow from Gibbs hand gratefully.

"Did you try his cell?" It had only been an hour since had had last seen DiNozzo.

"Yeah, and that's the weird thing. It just kept ringing. He must have had it on. If it were off, it'd go straight to voicemail,"

"Try again," Gibbs' answer for everything.

"I did, I tried like seventeen times," Gibbs stared at her. "I'll find him," She turned around and began typing. After a few moments, she had an answer. "Um, he's currently in the middle of the Atlantic, Gibbs,"

"What do you mean, Abs?"

"I mean, he's in the ocean. Or his phone is, anyway. Which wouldn't make sense," Gibbs stared at her again. "Not that any of this does. It's not like Tony to just take a trip to the ocean without letting someone know,"

"He's not," He pointed to the screen. The little circle was moving, and then it suddenly disappeared.

"Ohmygoshthatwasn'tmyfault," Abby said quickly, beginning to type furiously. She was concentrating, leaving her Caf-Pow neglected beside her.

"His phone is off," Gibbs said.

"How do you know?" Abby asked, her eyes never leaving the screen in front of her. Gibbs waved his phone.

"I tried calling him again,"

"But he never turns off his phone. It's like his lifeline," Abby called McGee. "Timmy! Come down here, Tony's in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean!"

"He what?" Abby ended the call, leaving a very confused McGee to rush down to her lab. A couple minutes later, he met them down there. Abby quickly, _very quickly_, explained the little that she knew. "Why would he turn off his phone?"

"Maybe… maybe he's on a plan?"

"Abby, that's brilliant! Ok but where would he be going? Gibbs is gonna kill him…" They turned around to find Gibbs gone. He knew where Tony was headed.

Tony walked off the plane silently, the dry air a shock to him. It was cold. There was a dusting of snow around him, and the clear blue sky above him was just beginning to be covered by dark clouds. His time outside was short as he walked into the main building of the airport. It wasn't very large at all, but it certainly was confusing. People were speaking a variety of foreign languages. Some he recognized, others he didn't. He passes a man on his cell phone, yelling out angry phrases he has often heard Ziva shout in the squadroom. Tony smiled a little bit to himself, but then quickly came back to reality. He looked around, unsure of what to do or where to go. Finally he found a sign that read "Customs" in English. It was a relief from all of the Hebrew and Arabic he was seeing. After a few minutes of forms and discussion with an English speaking employee, he knew where to go and had a map in his hand to prove it. Though he felt a little wimpy asking for help, it was that or stay lost in the airport forever.

He stepped out of the airport with nothing in his hands. He hadn't even taken time to pack. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that he somehow got to Mossad Headquarters. A few minutes later, Tony hailed a cab. He pointed to the place on the map, and the driver nodded.

The drive wasn't long, though the plane ride had been. Unable to sleep, he formulated what he wanted to say to her in his mind, replaying it over and over until he was sure he'd at least be able to open his mouth without her killing him. He needed to talk to her. There was so much he needed to say.

Ziva was standing in her father's office, unsure of what to do. She had polished every knife he could find, organized the small desk Mossad had provided, and written home—no, not home—emailed Abby, McGee, and Ducky, and written to Gibbs already that day, just as she had every day since she left. That is, when she wasn't working undercover. Though she loved her job, there was something missing.

_Tony_. Ziva rolled her eyes at herself. She knew he was right. Being vulnerable… it could be alright, with the right person. But now it was too late. He was a million miles away, and she had ruined her chances with him. It had taken her the length of the drive to the airport to realize this, but even by then, she had given up.

Ziva David was not one to give up, especially not so easily. But things had changed. She had to move on, grow up. _You are not a child, David,_ she chided herself, though her eyes stung with hot tears. She blinked them away. She looked around the room. It reminded her of NCIS. But that didn't matter anymore. Suddenly her phone began to vibrate in her pocket.

"Miss David, the Director is waiting for you upstairs," Eli's assistant said.

"Thank you, I will be right up," Ziva shut her phone. Only minutes later, she made her way into the Director's office.

"Ah, Ziva," Eli stood and kissed his daughter on her forehead.

"Hello, Aba,"

"It is so nice to have you back home," Ziva looked down. "You are not happy here?"

"I am fine," Ziva said, just barely flinching. Eli noticed this.

"Fine is not happy,"

"I am just used to the way things are done in America. It will take time,"

"That is not what is making you so sad," He paused, searching her face for answers. "Is it?"

Ziva was silent for a moment as she thought. Her life had never been her own, not until she had moved to the US. All her life it had been one order after another, always doing what she was told. It was a life she had grown used to, but she had never truly _lived_. Not until then. When she began at NCIS, she had a new opportunity. The opportunity to make her own decisions, even though her job required her to do as she was told. It was an odd balance she found somehow freeing. Now being back at Mossad, she felt restrained. And lonely.

"You are regretting you decision?"

"I miss it,"

"It? Or someone?" He looked at her suspiciously.

"It does not matter," She defended herself.

"Yes, he does. Anthony DiNozzo… he is a good man," Ziva was stunned.

"How…?"

"I saw the way he looked at you. My dear girl, I may be old but I am not blind,"

"What leads you to believe I feel the same way?"

"I saw the way you _didn't_ look at him," Ziva looked at the ground. She was guilty. "If you loved him and he loved you back, why did you want to leave?"

"With my job I cannot afford to be vulnerable. To have a relationship, one must be vulnerable some of the time, yes?"

Eli paused, then smiled a little. "You know, when I first met you mother, we had the same problems. She knew what my job required. How dangerous it was. And she knew I would not be able to share everything with her. She understood how hard it was for me to open up, as the American expression goes. But we worked at it. And we created a life together, one I do not regret," He fingered his watch. "Your mother gave me this watch. It was my wedding present, once upon a time," He looked up at her with softness in his eyes, a look that Ziva hadn't seen since her mother had died all those years ago. "I still wear it, everyday, to remind me that sometimes, a relationship is worth taking those risks. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Aba," Ziva's voice was barely above a whisper. He understood. And now so did she.

"It is never too late," He said. He took a breath after a moment and regained his composure. He stood and began to speak. "I believe you serve your country—both of your countries—best at NCIS. I will arrange for you to fly back tomorrow, yes? I am sure Director Vance would be pleased to have you back. As would Gibbs, and the rest of the team," He said the last word with care.

"Toda, Aba," Ziva embraced her father gratefully. She practically ran out of the building with joy. As she walked outside, she ran into someone. "Forgive me," she said in Hebrew.

"I already have," He stopped and stood there in front of the doors. Ziva turned around, unable to speak. He walked up to her and offered her his arm. "I noticed a park just down the block. I didn't think you'd have any here," Still shocked, Ziva took his arm with a small smile. Tony grinned at her, and they began to walk slowly. After a moment, Ziva regained her voice, though the surprise was still evident in her eyes and they way she spoke.

"Israel is not known for its parks, but we do have them here and there. Tony, what are you doing here?"

"I needed to do something," He said, looking out to the street before them. The light was fading quickly, and the world seemed to glow as the clouds took over the sky. "How do you like being back?"

"I am not staying long. I leave tomorrow,"

"Oh," Tony said, hoping it wasn't for another mission. "What for?"

"I need to do something," Ziva answered mischievously as they walked into the park. "However, it requires that I go to NCIS for good," He stopped and smiled again.

"Really?" He seemed pleased. "What changed your mind?"

"My father,"

"Eli?"

"Tony, there is something I must say. It took me far too long to realize it. You were right. It is ok to… to be vulnerable. To share with… people. My father was talking about my mother. He said he had the same problem I did, but she understood, and they got through it together," They sat down on a bench. The park was empty, and the air was cold. But neither of them noticed. Tony's heart skipped a beat, and it began to rain.

"You mean…"

"Some relationships are worth taking risks for," Her eyes searched his face softly. He smiled. Tony cradled her neck in his hand, pulling her closer to him. Their lips brushed gently, and then it happened. He kissed her, and she kissed him back.

"Speaking of risks, I didn't want to rush things, but I… I couldn't resist," Tony grinned and he reached into his coat pocket, and Ziva's heart began to beat quicker. He pulled out a black velvet box, dropped to one knee, and began to speak. "Ziva David, will you marry me?" Her eyes sparkled as bright as the ring in the box did. It was simple: white gold with a single diamond in the center, not too big, not too small. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her slender finger hopefully.

"Yes," She grinned, her eyes shining with a happiness that Tony had never seen before.

"I think I've seen this movie before," Tony smiled wider than he ever had as he kissed her once more. _Yes,_ she thought,_ it's worth it._

The end.


End file.
